Don't look to me

There have been occasions in which I have been asked by women of my age or younger, "what have you learned?," or, "what advice can you give?." My answer always seems to come haltingly with much thought and humility. In my head I wonder, "why would they ask me?" I'm still in my twenties and have barely begun to serve. Look to those women older and wiser." But they are looking at me. 

      A great part of what I have learned is to be always ready and always aware. Always ready to give an answer to them and God; and always aware of the eyes that are watching, theirs and Gods. 

I have not however, and I pray will never have, "arrived" at that point where I have all the answers. I am and must be always in a state of learning. 

As I look up to many great faithful women of the past and future, I know that these girls are looking up to me. I feel that I am a poor choice of observation for them. Only God knows. 

I then consider these great faithful women, Sarah Edwards, Lilias Trotter, Gladys Aylward, and many more even in our present. I believe that if given the chance to speak with one of them, asking the same questions that have been asked of me, they would also feel unworthy of them. They would feel that there are better role models, better women. They would feel that they are inferior. They are only doing what is their reasonable service to the best of their abilities. In their hearts they may say as I, "don't look to me."

As I serve I know I will always be looked upon. I say,"Look at those greater." Who greater than God himself. Yes, I must always be inferior to Him, always striving to be more like Him, and always desiring to serve Him more. So I say to all those looking, "don't look to me. Look to Him. For it is Him, I pray, who you see in me."

By Faith

(This is what I wrote in our prayer letter this month. So, this month, I also wanted to share this with you. It is something that is close to my heart.) Doubt is human; faith is not. I have been pondering this statement for weeks now. Faith, it is “the substance of things hoped for” and the “evidence of things not seen.” Most know that a missionary must live by faith or live by worry. Faith is generally the option taken (and most successful). Though it is obvious that a missionary must make that choice it is somehow less obvious to the layman that he too makes that choice. All Christians must choose faith or self, faith or worry. How? With the strength of the Lord an indwelling Holy Spirit of the saved. Faith in God does not come naturally. These past weeks we have seen an outpouring of love and generosity that can only come from a heart of faith. We have been guests at four mission conferences with the opportunity to encourage faith in giving, faith in living, and faith in telling others. What a blessing it is to see God use us to work in the hearts and lives of others. We have gone from a church of twenty to a church of hundreds, but the heart is the same. “Lead me Lord,” can be seen in the eyes of those who attend the conferences. How rewarding and humbling it is to be used in this way. May our lives bear witness of his sufficient grace to those who are looking. To be a missionary is simply to follow God. Just as every Christian is striving to do. We are no different from the layman in faith. God is simply taking us to serve in a foreign field rather than home. God uses us along the way to grow the faith of others while, in turn, growing ours. So indeed, to be a missionary is a two-fold blessing. At each conference we attended we were able to see people of God committing themselves to give for the next year. No doubt that some have committed beyond their budget by faith to give. We pray and have confidence that the Lord will bless those who do. Because they will see that God can provide “according to His riches” that are limitless. The blessing is not the provision, but the growing of the faith that comes with it. They will see God work in ways that otherwise would have been missed if human doubt had overcome a choice of faith. Provision is a bonus to God’s amazing power. So church members, I want you to know that you are special. Your faith supports your church, your faith supports your missionaries, your faith wins others to Christ where you are and abroad, and your faith encourages us. Thank you so much for your choice of faith.

The Joy of Discipline.

"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yeildeth the peacable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." Hebrews 12:11 That is one of my favorite verses. I have told my family that I would like to hang that verse on my wall with the words, "Discipline is hard; but it brings peace and joy." I know that it seems like an odd verse to have among those most precious, but I have good reason. Any parent can tell you, unless they are lying, that discipline is hard not only for the child but also for the parent. A great pastor M. W Lawrenz said that "a child is born without the desire to be a peacemaker; but rather for war."In other words, We are all born with a desire to get, to have our way, selfish. As a child grows he is either taught peace and giving or is allowed to feed his selfishness sin nature. Not being able to simply give my daughter whatever she wants is hard. When I have to discipline her it is hard to see her tears. But I bite my lip and tell her in love why I must do this. It is for her good. So it is with our Father. He must discipline His children to build them into righteous people. If we always got what we want, did what we want, and got away with it we would be a terrible people indeed. Just look at the state of our country. Americans are a culture of get what I want and if I don't I will lie and/or steal to get it. We do what we want. Now our country is suffering the consequences. Disease is rampant and our leaders are turning their back on the God who made us who we were. But that is a post for another day. Our elders, our parents, and grandparents knew the value of discipline. Not just with children. It takes personal discipline to discipline children well because it takes dedication. Discipline in anger will only breed bitterness and anger. A disciplined person can do it with forethought, love, and wisdom. Discipline is here for our good, to make us better than we are. The verse says, "nevertheless afterward it yeildeth the peacable fruit of righteousness unto them which are excercised thereby." I love those words, "the peaceable fruit of righteousness." So true. Righteousness has never been anything but peaceful. A righteous man has peace in his ways; and peace yeilds joy. Righteousness is the joy that comes from discipline. With our children, all we can do is pray for wisdom and discipline the best you know how. Afterwards, just pray that they will grow into righteous men and women. You have done your part so the rest is up to them. So it is with us. God will chasten; but will we choose righteousness or rebellion.

Even as a Child: 3

In the last post, I touched on Gods joy to see us grow as His child. As I watch my daughter I have realized that growth is not a one time process. Growth comes from nourishment and persistence. When my baby girl began to crawl it was not overnight. I watched her struggle for weeks to build up the muscle she needed to take those first couple crawling steps. Even then, it was a gradual improvement over time. Crawling took persistent work, if she had given up because 'it was too hard' or 'she didn't feel like it' she would never crawl. Sounds like the Christian life huh? Along with persistence she needed nourishment. My daughter had to have daily food for energy and strength to get up on her hands and knees and work that muscle. Do I eat my daily bread? Do I get up every morning and get my spiritual nourishment so that I will have the strength and energy I need to build muscle and grow? God's word is our nourishment. The Bible builds spiritual muscle when used daily. Spiritual growth, like physical growth, is not overnight. A short simple truth.

Even as a child: 2

Matthew 18:2-4 "and Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, verily I say unto you except you be converted, and become as little children, ya shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Have you ever just watched a toddler as she played? She will play contentedly as long as She knows her parent is nearby. A baby knows that she can do nothing without their help. She also depends on them for protection. It is the most precious display of trust, need, and humility. Not to mention carefree. As a mother, I never want that to go away. Our heavenly Father feels the same way about His children. God wants us to come to Him in complete humility. He then wants us to continue to "cast all Our care on Him" in Faith and love. I know what my daughter needs without Her being able to tell me. So does God know the needs of his children. If we trust Him, He will provide. Such simplicity. If you have accepted Christ as your Savior you were born again as His child. All you need to do now is trust in His ability as your Father. Simply enjoy being in His care. Get excited about learning new things and performing them for Him. He gets excited to see us grow too. Just think how you feel when your children, nephew, niece, or grandchild takes his first step. Then, think how you would feel if he then stopped growing, or worse, never did take any steps. Our father is cheering us on and wanting to teach us more. How wonderful! "It's wonderful to be a christian. It's wonderful to be God's child"

Even as a Child: 1

I have always learned from experience. Hands on is the best way to learn. So when I came to verses in the bible that use children and babies I never fully understood until I had one of my own. She is teaching me so much. I am going to talk about some of these lessons over three posts. I could not possibly say it all in one.
       
         1 Peter 2:2 "As newborn babies desire the sincere milk of the Word, that ye may grow thereby:"

              God's word says that I should desire His word as a baby does milk. If you have ever breastfed a newborn you can surely understand how fervent a desire that would be, even with bottle fed infants . It is almost constant. What a revelation! When I realized that I should be desiring His word daily, hourly, constantly, I realized that I was greatly lacking in desire.
             But how do I make myself desire something? By giving it to myself constantly. I realized that children learn to desire certain things by being used to having them. So I can learn to desire God's word even more by becoming accustomed to having it. Once I started that practice I soon could not go without it. It's not just that it's habit forming, but it is the life changing grace that comes with it.
              The verse says, "that ye may grow thereby:" Just as the constant giving of milk is growth to a baby. The constant taking in of the Word is growth to a Christian. The more I get the healthier I grow. A change takes place when time with God becomes a daily habit. Babies desire milk everyday. Soon nursing becomes more than nurishment, it becomes a comfort and a pleasure. When I spend daily time with God it is the same. God becomes more than a Savior. He is my friend and father. Daily Bible reading may seem insignificant in contrast to great works of faith. Just as a baby needs the simple act of milk everyday to grow strong, to crawl, then to walk. I need daily time in God's word to be able to take giant steps of faith.
The beauty of God's word is astounding. Such a small verse with such big meaning.
               There is so much that I can learn from watching my precious daughter as she grows. God teaches me to be as a child. He wants me to know that I need a protector, provider, Savior and friend. He wants me to know that I am taken care of. He has given me, His child, what I need to grow into a strong healthy human and christian.

My God Shall Supply All My Needs

          I have house fever. I want to have a house so bad. For those of you who don't know where I live, I have a lovely little studio apartment. Don't get me wrong. It is a great apartment and a blessing to live in. We have wonderful landlords. But I want a house that has bedrooms, a full kitchen, a laundry area, and a second bathroom especially, with a tub to bathe the baby in. All of these things are my desires. I look at houses for sale and rent around the area when we are driving and just sigh. I know we cannot look. We are not staying in this town much longer neither could we afford to move. So I must simply be patient.

          I tell you all this because I have had to realize something. There are many things that I desire that I cannot have right now. I was complaining about my desire for a house and my husband reminded me that God knew my desires. God knows what I need. He has always taken care of me. I know He will continue to take care of me. The home I have now supplies what we need. A roof over our head, beds to sleep in, heat in winter, Cool AC in the morning and evening, and a place to cook and eat. However, I know that God not only cares about my needs, but also my desires. Right now is just not the time for them. 

           Heading out onto the deputation road is exciting and stressful. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do for us along the way. At the same time, I am not ready to pack up us and the baby for months on the road. It is just something that I have to do and see the best in it. What I see in it now is an adventure in  Gods provision and grace. I don't know what all is ahead, but I know God is. That is all I really need to know. My house is somewhere up there too, and I can't wait to see it.