My God Shall Supply All My Needs

          I have house fever. I want to have a house so bad. For those of you who don't know where I live, I have a lovely little studio apartment. Don't get me wrong. It is a great apartment and a blessing to live in. We have wonderful landlords. But I want a house that has bedrooms, a full kitchen, a laundry area, and a second bathroom especially, with a tub to bathe the baby in. All of these things are my desires. I look at houses for sale and rent around the area when we are driving and just sigh. I know we cannot look. We are not staying in this town much longer neither could we afford to move. So I must simply be patient.

          I tell you all this because I have had to realize something. There are many things that I desire that I cannot have right now. I was complaining about my desire for a house and my husband reminded me that God knew my desires. God knows what I need. He has always taken care of me. I know He will continue to take care of me. The home I have now supplies what we need. A roof over our head, beds to sleep in, heat in winter, Cool AC in the morning and evening, and a place to cook and eat. However, I know that God not only cares about my needs, but also my desires. Right now is just not the time for them. 

           Heading out onto the deputation road is exciting and stressful. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do for us along the way. At the same time, I am not ready to pack up us and the baby for months on the road. It is just something that I have to do and see the best in it. What I see in it now is an adventure in  Gods provision and grace. I don't know what all is ahead, but I know God is. That is all I really need to know. My house is somewhere up there too, and I can't wait to see it. 

          

Work In Progress

          Wet cement, orange cones, and steel framing. Under construction. Sound familiar? In my community it is all too familiar. Especially on the expressways. I'm sure that it is not just here. Everything is constantly growing, expanding, improving. Everywhere people want to look better, update, and, well, grow.
          The world understands the need for improving on a regular basis. So why then, do we as christians not always see the need for improvement in our spirit? I believe it may not always be that we do not see, but that we will not take the time needed for improvement. Improving takes time and effort. No building ever remodeled itself. We have the tools and the ability so we have no excuses. God wants us to continue growing in the knowledge, and likeness, of Him. He has given us directions and blueprint all in the same book.
          I know all too well the struggle to continue building. It is easy to slack off, to go through the motions without actually working. There are also setbacks. Sometimes the work is still fresh when something bumps us. Remember, it can always be repaired. A couple years ago my mom was out with my grandma. They had stopped to pick up some medication and on the way into the pharmacy my grandma stepped in a square of wet cement on the sidewalk. She hadn't seen it. The workman laughed and smoothed it back out. On her way back out of the pharmacy she nearly stepped in it again. The workman, I'm sure, tensed as her foot hovered over his resmoothed cement, but when she turned and placed it on the sidewalk he laughed at the near misstep. Sometimes in life we are like that workman and the wet cement is the part of us that God is improving. Something may come along and accidentaly step on us. When that happens we just have to smooth it back out again. True, if the same person did it twice, it is harder to laugh about. Even if it takes a few times, it will eventually harden and become a permanent part. I'm sure that sidewalk did eventually dry and others can now walk on it freely. However, it will now begin the process of wear and tear that will break it down. Thats why we must always be working. We must keep up what God has built in us.
            I am still a work in progress. There is still so much for me to improve in my own life. God has been working in me. As long as I allow God to continue working I will continue to improve. There have been setbacks but with God I got through them. With God in charge, sometimes things even turn out better the second time.

To be Jewel

           A couple days I woke up with a revelation. I'm living in my future. I know that sounds strange and impossible. Let me explain. I realized that I have accomplished all of my goals from childhood. I've graduated from high school and college, I'm married, and I have a baby. All that is left is my happily ever after.

           When I came to this realization I was stunned. I felt a sense of great accomplishment then I thought, "what now?". The answer came quickly. Life.
          Of course, there are some new goals. I now look forward to deputation, getting to the mission field, ministry on the field, having another baby, see my children graduate high school and college, see them marry and have children, see them have my grandchildren (yes, I look way ahead). There are many things. While thinking about all of this I realized that I am not ready. I have so much to learn between here and there. Things I needed to get started on yesterday.
           In our monthly ladies meetings my associate pastors wife has been teaching through Proverbs 31. It has been wonderful. It inspired me to do my own studying at home. I bought the book "Beautiful in His Eyes" by   Elizabeth George and its study guide. The things I have been learning are humbling and exciting.One of those things is that I suddenly realized the importance of every single thing that I do in my home. The major thing that Mrs. George brought up was that being a virtuous woman is not impossible. She is a real literal person that the kings mother was telling him about. The kind of woman that she wanted her son to marry was a virtuous woman. I can be that kind of woman it just takes time. It is by no means an overnight change.
              The second thing that I learned is that the virtuous woman is not wealthy. When reading the passage of scripture it has always painted in my mind a picture of wealth and beauty. All those beautiful words like "rubies, silk, purple, scarlet, coverings" gave me the illusion of wealth and beauty in her home. That was not the case. The Proverbs 31 woman is what made her home seem wealthy and beautiful. She was the jewel that shone throughout the passage. Her beauty, inner beauty, made everyone and everything around her beautiful. She worked hard to give abundance to their home. She brought honor to her husband through her reputation and management of her home. She brought her children joy and comfort.
                I want to be the jewel, the ruby, in my home. There are many things that I need to work on. I am comforted in knowing that it is not an impossible goal. Just one that has to be reached step by step. My life up to now has been good, but I want my future to be great. Not for me, but for God, my husband, my children, and those that we will be ministering with. That really would be a fantastic happily ever after.
            

For the Love of Music

         Isn't the human mind amazing? How many wonderful things God has allowed in the mind. Things no other living creature can do, think, or create comes from the human mind. One of those things is music. Yes, animals have different 'songs' and sounds; but God insilled those certain things for a purpose in the animal and for His glory. Music is a joy that I have never ceased to love. Music inspires me, uplifts me, encourages me, and comforts me. It brings me joy and helps me cope. I love music.
          Not only do I love to listen to music. I love to sing. God has given me the ability to sing, and I am so willing to use it. What a great expression of gratefulness, expectation, faith and hope. There is something about a song that makes it so much easier to say what your heart feels. I sing specials at my church on a regular basis. Each time I sing I choose a song that God is using to speak to me at that time or applies to what I'm learning. My top two are the hymn Day by Day, and the song Gods been Good. Especially the latter of the two. It has become a theme song for me. I've sung it during college struggles, at my Papa's funeral, for the birth of my daughter, and recently after an unexpected change. Each time the message of the song is as true, as refreshing, and as sweet to me as it was the time before. Each time I have battled tears to make it through the song (once they got the best of me). Music can bring so much praise. It can also be used to bring out and/or express much different emotions.
          Music is such a great outlet of emotion that even those without praise can use it. That is when I don't like music. No matter the message music reaches the soul. I once saw a T-shirt that read "Music is the weapon of the future." The sad reality is that it is not "of the future" it is now. Satan knows the power of music. The wrong kind can be addicting. Certain beats and mixes appeal to our sensuality, our body, our flesh. I've been there.
           I told you that I love music. It wasn't hard for me to be drawn by the music of the world. Once I immersed myself in that pool it was very, very hard to pull myself out. I won't lie. I still fall in sometimes. When I hear a song playing in the store that I used to like, I want to dance and sing along. It gives me a desire to tune my radio to it in the car. The one thing that holds me back is when I remember how empty feeling that music leaves me. The only music that fullfills my spirits desire is that which praises God and encourages my soul.
          Not everyone has the Holy Spirit to strengthen and encourage them. Those who don't know him are open to the deception of worldly music. I've noticed that the music someone listens to reveals their inner thoughts. The more they listen to it, the more it encourages them to persue those thoughts. Certain types of music are associated with certain types of people and cultures. The reason is because they had those thoughts, they began listening to music that expressed and encouraged those thoughts, and as a result they got deeper into that personality. That is how Satan uses music. It can be deceptive and enticing. The beat appeals to the flesh and the words appeal to the thoughts.
         Good, Godly, uplifting music, encourages us not to follow our thoughts, our ways, or our desires; but to allow God to lead us to being better by being His. He said it in Isaiah 55:6-12

         "Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

           Our thoughts would be evil continually if it were not for God. We are selfish creatures, but God said if we forsake our selfish ways and return to God he will pardon.

          "For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:--"

        Here it comes. I love what He says in verses 11 and 12.

       " So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."

        If we follow God and His words we shall go out with joy, be led forth with peace, and nature with break for in singing and clapping of celebration. Isn't that a great thought! His ways are better, His thoughts much better because they are pure. If we draw near to God He will give us the music our soul desires, and so much more.
        In verse 13 God says, "Instead of the thorn shall come up a fir tree, instead of a brier will come up a myrtle--" We become something better. That sounds pretty good to me. He always reminds me in songs and hymns that I am taken care of. It is His music, only His, that satisfies my soul.

Blessed Valley

           I often listen to the gospel station in my car. It never fails that a song will come on that is just what I need. Usually it is one I have not heard in a long time or even never before. That happened to me Wednesday night on the way to church. The song is taken from Psalm 3. 

Psalm 3:3-8
"But Thou, Oh Lord, art a shield for me. My glory, and the lifter up of my head.
I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and He heard me out of His holy hill. Selah.
I laid me down and slept. I awaked for the Lord sustained me.
I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people that have set themselves against me round about.
Arise, oh Lord, save me, Oh my God; for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheekbone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.
Salvation belongeth unto the Lord, thy blessing is upon thy people."
         
                 There is a valley before me. Valleys come in everyone's life. I have not met anyone who can say that they have never been through one. The thing is that most cannot see the sun shining when they are going through it. When they look back they can. In life, valleys are not always dark and uncertain. They are not always dead and dry. Sometimes we just need to lift up our head and see the water running through, the sunshine, and the green grass under our feet. "Even in the valley God is good." We are sustained through His grace and mercy.
         I looked up the verses after hearing the song again. It is amazing how much is in that short little chapter. I don't know what God is doing or is going to do, but I am reminded that my God is still my glory and lifter of my head. There may be pain. That's ok. He hears the tears of His people. I can sleep in peace knowing that I belong to a great God.
         His blessing is still on His faithful people. Whatever valley may come, there is a mountain to follow. As always, God will take care of his people. I can't see the mountain yet, but I know its coming.            
          Click the link here to Listen to the song!

Worry Free is how God Wants Me

          I'm afraid. I'm worried. Those words have seemed to spill out numerous times throughout the years. It gets old, but I still do it. I'm sure God is tired of hearing it. He has been very patient with me through the years. Each time I'm afraid or worried He shows me His care. If I let Him. That is the key. I have to let Him.           So many times I have prayed and said, "Lord, I'm worried and I'm scared. Will you please. . .". I ask Him to take care of me but I haven't let go. How can He take it if I don't let go? He can't. He has to let me fall under the burden I have created.
           In the past years God has shown me how to let go and let Him. Throughout my college years I had no option but to trust Him for bills, groceries, even toilet paper. He always provided them. I followed Him back for my final semester with 20 dollars in my bank account and an 800 dollar bill due upon registration. I knew he wanted me there, yet, I worried. He paid. Time and time again.
          Then I got married. It is so true that when you get married you have to learn to let go in many areas. You must become selfless when it comes to your spouse. Two selfish people living together could eventually get very ugly. Marriage is not give and take, it is give and give again. In return you will get back much more. The area that I worried the most about was always that number one problem area for 90% of Americans. Over half of them must be married. Money.
          Yes, money. I know that a wife should let her husband worry about money, right. Ha! I find that women struggle with this so often. I am the perfect example. Every payday I would deposit the check and count the pennys. I paid all the bills and then informed my husband of the little bit we had left to spend for the next two weeks. I would worry and caution as every dollar left the bank. God used my husband to rebuke me and slowly I learned. Every time I said, "Honey, we can't spend that money" I was gently reminded of who was the leader. So I would shut my mouth and let him decide what to spend. I began to notice something. When I shut my mouth and obeyed my husband. God took care of us. Even when the spending was what I considered frivalous.
          What is frivalous? I began asking myself this question. When I did, wow what a difference! My husband is the most caring of all men (Sorry, ladies it's true. Mine is the best) so he was always willing to spend money on other people. He would buy them food, take them bowling, go out for ice cream, and I always thought, "why does he have to spend money? can't they just hang out?". Slowly God made me realize that he was not just "spending money" he was spending time. He was loving them. God always blessed that. When I realized that I was crushed by my selfishness. I had learned my lesson.
          God blesses a cheerful giver. He just blesses giving. And when a wife is submissive to her husband God will always take care of the family. I still have my moments. There have been many times i've had to bite my lip when my husband pulls out his wallet. Each time I hear him say "It's taken care of," I just remind myself that it really is.
          I am now a very cheerful spender. When an oppurtunity comes up to help someone out I have learned that is is better to give than scrimp, it is better to spend than worry, and ministry can be expensive; but God always provides for it. If God is calling it is always better to answer. I never know where the money will come from. But I do know that God has always taken care of us, and I know He always will. I'm not worried.

Sunrise Sonnets

     I have always enjoyed using illustrations. Words, objects, stories, etc. so many things can create a picture in the mind of exactly what the speaker wants to convey. Jesus knew this. He used many illustrations in His word. We call them parables. Not only did He use parables, He also called His word the bread of life, He called us His sheep, and He called satan, well, many things. All of these things illustrate without having to say exactly what is meant.
     For me, illustrations set a whirlwind in motion of connection and understanding, but always they lead back to one of two originations. All things in life are either connected to sin, or God. There is nothing that does not lead back to one of those two choices in life. Sin or God. Isn't it amazing that there are so many things to illustrate so many other things, but yet, they all lead back to the same two places. God created the mind. It is such a wonderful tool for living, but we still do not fully understand how it works. Kinda like God huh?
     God is so magnificient we cannot fully understand Him. Like the universe, His ways are so vast that there are so many parts remaining to be discovered (like that illustration). I could go on.
     In Gods word He tries to help us understand Him by using things that we understand. That is what we still do today. I say all that to say this. Poetry is beautiful! No, not really, well, it is, but that is not what I was trying to say. I titled this post Sunrise Sonnets because that illustrates what I am trying to do with my blog. Every day I have reasons to praise God for what He is doing. Every day He has taken care of me. Every day I can say with the sunrise a sonnet of praise. It illustrates how I feel. I hope you understand. Celebrate with me in Sonnets of Praise.