Worry Free is how God Wants Me

          I'm afraid. I'm worried. Those words have seemed to spill out numerous times throughout the years. It gets old, but I still do it. I'm sure God is tired of hearing it. He has been very patient with me through the years. Each time I'm afraid or worried He shows me His care. If I let Him. That is the key. I have to let Him.           So many times I have prayed and said, "Lord, I'm worried and I'm scared. Will you please. . .". I ask Him to take care of me but I haven't let go. How can He take it if I don't let go? He can't. He has to let me fall under the burden I have created.
           In the past years God has shown me how to let go and let Him. Throughout my college years I had no option but to trust Him for bills, groceries, even toilet paper. He always provided them. I followed Him back for my final semester with 20 dollars in my bank account and an 800 dollar bill due upon registration. I knew he wanted me there, yet, I worried. He paid. Time and time again.
          Then I got married. It is so true that when you get married you have to learn to let go in many areas. You must become selfless when it comes to your spouse. Two selfish people living together could eventually get very ugly. Marriage is not give and take, it is give and give again. In return you will get back much more. The area that I worried the most about was always that number one problem area for 90% of Americans. Over half of them must be married. Money.
          Yes, money. I know that a wife should let her husband worry about money, right. Ha! I find that women struggle with this so often. I am the perfect example. Every payday I would deposit the check and count the pennys. I paid all the bills and then informed my husband of the little bit we had left to spend for the next two weeks. I would worry and caution as every dollar left the bank. God used my husband to rebuke me and slowly I learned. Every time I said, "Honey, we can't spend that money" I was gently reminded of who was the leader. So I would shut my mouth and let him decide what to spend. I began to notice something. When I shut my mouth and obeyed my husband. God took care of us. Even when the spending was what I considered frivalous.
          What is frivalous? I began asking myself this question. When I did, wow what a difference! My husband is the most caring of all men (Sorry, ladies it's true. Mine is the best) so he was always willing to spend money on other people. He would buy them food, take them bowling, go out for ice cream, and I always thought, "why does he have to spend money? can't they just hang out?". Slowly God made me realize that he was not just "spending money" he was spending time. He was loving them. God always blessed that. When I realized that I was crushed by my selfishness. I had learned my lesson.
          God blesses a cheerful giver. He just blesses giving. And when a wife is submissive to her husband God will always take care of the family. I still have my moments. There have been many times i've had to bite my lip when my husband pulls out his wallet. Each time I hear him say "It's taken care of," I just remind myself that it really is.
          I am now a very cheerful spender. When an oppurtunity comes up to help someone out I have learned that is is better to give than scrimp, it is better to spend than worry, and ministry can be expensive; but God always provides for it. If God is calling it is always better to answer. I never know where the money will come from. But I do know that God has always taken care of us, and I know He always will. I'm not worried.